Monday, June 3, 2013

A Fast

I have decided to begin fasting. From what, you ask? I'll tell you.

For three months (beginning June 1st) I am going to fast from purchasing clothing and accessories for myself. This doesn't include clothing for my family.

Welcome to the randomness that is my blog. 

Why? For myself. For others. For Jesus.

When I think of others fasting from something it is usually for the benefit of someone of something else. While that is true in this case, I feel like, if I'm being honest, it's for me too. I was trying to think of the last time something ignited passion in me and when I last felt connected to Jesus in an all-consuming way. It wasn't recently, I'll tell you that. I just winced a little typing that. Ouch. And whose fault is that? My own. I am surrounded by loving friends and family and a church community that is filled with love, but lately I have let myself check out. And there are a million excuses I make to rationalize it all.

So who am I fasting for? Selfishly, myself. For my Jesus, who is asking me to do this little, tiny thing. And for others. I want to impacts lives with love during this time. And while I realize there is nothing wrong with buying clothing and filling one's closet, I think I sometimes get carried away with convincing myself that I need the newest, latest style. And if I just had this one more pair of shoes my wardrobe would be complete! And, honestly, shopping is just plain fun to me. But do I really need this super cute blouse when my missionary friend cannot even afford medical care? NO!! I mean the obviousness of that question is just beating me up!

To be honest, I'm not sure I even want anyone to know about this fast because I'm afraid I'll get some glory from it and all the glory should be reserved for Jesus. But I know myself. And I know if no one really knows about my commitment then it would be all too easy to slip up and make a mistake. But this is never on sale.... If I'm not wearing this item during the fast then it doesn't really count.... What is so wrong with buying this anyway..... I could go on.

So on day three of said fast my internet declaration is being proclaimed.

And one more -gulp- confession. I definitely didn't buy clothing for myself on May 31st knowing full well the fast would start the next day. #yesitotallydid

I can't think of a better way to end this post than with a poignant verse from yesterday's sermon.

"....Being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."                                              
                                                                                                                             -Philippians 1:6